Marriage today: Is it really til’ death do us part?

It seems like everybody is giving up on love. Love is missing in households, communities, music, and society overall. No wonder why forty to fifty percent of married couples in the United States divorce. This saddens me simply because I feel as if people are just using divorce as a cop out and not fighting for the love that they once believed was there. Im not saying that nobody should divorce because you never know someones situation (Domestic violence and disrespect should never be tolerated), but in terms of things that are not as serious and how it’s being allowed to seperate couples. People have lost their will to fight for who they love. I believe that once you make that vow and promise ” til death do you part” you are obligated to stay with that person no matter what happens and work out whatever issue is destroying your relationship. So many times today many couples separate and file for divorce just because the option is simply there, forgetting the vow they promised to one another and made to God.

I honestly just get a different vibe when it comes to love and marriage because of the music that is created today and what is portrayed in the media. In todays music “love” is not talked about or encouraged like it was when my parents were growing up. Instead today people are rapping about drugs, sex, and money. No love family, or staying together (unity). We don’t even have any young entertainers ( for example, Jackson 5, Sammie, B2K, Cherish, Pretty Ricky, Destiny’s Child). I feel like this is disappointing because we don’t have people in our generation singing and rapping about positive and loving things. Most people are listening to Chief Keef ( I’m guilty at times smh) while he disrespects females calling us thots and rap about what drugs he’s consuming and how much money he blowing. Like how is this helping your people though? Then in regards to television and media overall we have shows like Love and Hip Hop Atlanta giving a negative example and horrible portrayl of the African-American community. We got men like Kirk who does nothing but cheat on his beautiful wife Rasheeda and Young Joc who messes with multiple females and the list goes on. But my thing is, what is that showing us? Its doing nothing but feeding trash to society and encouraging this immature and disrespectful behavior. What happened to The Proud Family? The Cosby show? Family Matters? The Fresh Prince of Bel Air?Hell! The Brady Bunch??? People clearly only follow what they see. The thing I have a problem with is that in today’s marriages people are not communicating how thy feel and they allow things that make them uncomfortable to occur for years and wait until it all builds up and file for a divorce instead of rectifying the issue when you first see it. SPEAK UP! We need a reality check and I’m ringing y’all doorbells because it’s getting out of hand! As a community and as a people we need to remember how far we have come. We are doing exactly what our oppressors want us to do when we separate and fight instead of love one another and unite. Ladies, if you and your husband are going through it, it’s okay! Nobody is perfect and every couple has their moments. But you have to remember there is a reason you fell in love and married this man (NEVER FORGET!) Y’all better work through your issues. Walking away from your companion and family won’t solve anything but only leave a void. We’re better together ladies, and that’s with anything. Without love, life is nothing. Cherish it. Protect it. Encourage it. But most of all love it! And just remember ” I do” is more than two words. It means that you vow to work through whatever adversities you two face together as one. We have to take control of our situation and don’t allow it to take control of you. Half the time children are involved and you guys aren’t therefore the only ones hurting. Now your kids have no idea what to look up to or if love is even real. Remember it’s all a cycle. Know who you are committing to and make certain to put God at the head of your marriage. Without him and prayer of course your marriage failed because nothing is possible without him. Overall, I just want us to do better as a people. Love and support each other. Don’t lose hope. We all make mistakes and no one is perfect. I hope this message helps someone. Remember you are beautiful and God loves you!

Sincerely,

Tierra Navia 💕

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Sometimes God will make you uncomfortable to make you MOVE!

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You are not going through hell for no reason. Lately it may seem as if your life is up in shambles. You don’t know what you really want to do (career wise), your finances are all tied up, and you are feeling all alone. You’ve even considered giving up and your hope is at an all time low. But no need to fret, because God is purposely making you uncomfortable in order to make you move! His purpose is greater than your understanding. STOP fighting it child! You didn’t get that job/ internship because God doesn’t want you working for anyone, but instead wants you to work on that business that he has planted in your heart for the last year… Your relationship didn’t work out not only because that man couldn’t appreciate you and only you, but God has somebody that is willing to not only make you happy but appreciate and treat you right as well. This past year was very trying and I constantly battled with confusion on why certain things and situations were occurring in my life. God will use your situation to make you stronger and prepare you for your ultimate blessing and with this you will begin to not only recognize the power that he has, but also the power he has instilled in you to touch others lives.
I remember going into 2015 praying and claiming for a very successful and productive year (not knowing what I was actually into and having a difficult time finding my craft and what I am passionate about and enjoy doing). So as months pass by, different situations and scenarios occurred causing me to question God and lose faith (the devil really does come to kill, steal, and destroy ladies!) But all along, I’m finally starting to realize that God was placing me in a variety of situations only to give me knowledge regarding different life issues that female youth face today, in order to help others. I would also like to acknowledge a very inspirational and motivational blogger whom I began to become very dependent on during this rough stage, Heather Lindsey. I think it was destined for me to come across her blog because her stories and messages were what got me through a lot of rough times. (I just pray that God allows and uses me as a vessel to help encourage and motivate others as she has done for me.)
From dealing with my parents seperation (and upcoming divorce), fake friendships, bogus “relation”ships, school, and other everyday issues I was so frustrated, confused, hopeless, and depressed. Looking back I see how much time I wasted, but ultimately I appreciate my process of growth. I was uncomfortable thinking about my family situation. It hurt to see that after 25 years— a quarter of a century my parents allowed the devil to intervene in their beautiful and loving marriage (I will be speaking more about this in my next blog: Marriage Today: is it really til death do us part?”) I began to doubt the idea and power of love. I’m still constantly battling with this subject daily but I have faith that God will help me to overcome this. Then dealing with numerous fake and phony individuals whom I would be nothing but honest and caring towards but would never get the same treatment in return. I developed trust issues and started to think less of myself because I did not understand why this was happening to me and what I did to deserve such unjust treatment. After separating myself and basically re-evaluating my life ( the people I surrounded myself with and how I would invest so much time and energy into negative thoughts and people) I realized that I had to appreciate the good friends I have, the fact that I still have my parents in my life, and that I can’t let situations I’m dealing with get the best of me. We have to realize that 99% of things in our life is uncontrollable but we do hold the power to allow them to either make or break us. Aren’t you tired of releasing your power? You control your situation, it doesn’t control you! A way I’ve been able to tackle this issue is by a little saying I constantly use to remind myself that everything will be fine, T! And that is ” everything happens for a reason, what is meant for me will always be for me.” No need to worry, complain, or stress. God has purpose in your life. You can’t see it because all the negative thoughts that consume you. When it comes to this I imagine someones eye glasses with scum and dirt completely covering the lens, causing it to block their vision/sight. Therefore not allowing them to see the bigger picture and move! That’s what it’s like when you allow negative energy to take over. You’re blinded. You run into more trouble because you lose faith and can’t see the potential and greatness that you have destined for your life. Don’t be a prisoner of your own thoughts. Instead, pray and ask god to strengthen you and enable you to become more positive about your situation. Use your situation to build yourself and help others. Don’t allow it to suck you up, because by the time it spits you back out you have lost yourself and the lesson/blessing that also comes with it.
Ultimately, just remember that whatever you are dealing with you are not facing it alone. God is constantly by your side waiting for you to ask for help and with faith anything is possible in God’s will. I hope this message could help someone. And remember ladies, God loves you and you are beautiful!

Until next time!
tierranavia 💕

Is it too much for me to want more?

Recently, I’ve been contemplating on if it was too much for me to want more in all aspects of my life (financially, spiritually, relationship wise, etc.) I feel like God has been placing me in situations where I’ve broadened my horizon regarding this issue and I think what I have learned may be of some help to some of you as well. The people around you play a strong role when it comes to over coming this issue. So to begin with, I would like to say “watch the company you keep”. Surround yourself with like minded people who are trying to not only better themselves but society as well. You need people to speak life into you,  not people who discourage you and try to make a joke out of what you’re passionate about. Telling you that ” you’re not capable of doing that” or ” it’s not a good idea”. If you are passionate about something, invest in it. Whether that be your time, finances, ideas, or all the above. You have to put your all into it and once you began to work hard towards whatever you’re passionate about God will do the rest. You will begin to see so many doors opening for you allowing you to not only bless yourself, but also those around you with your skill or talent.

After discussions with some of my girlfriends, I also realized that many times today, us as females have forgotten that we ultimately hold the power. Yes, I said it ladies. PUSSY=Power. I know that myself as well as others have been a victim of settling for less. But I am here today to remind you that you are worth more and you deserve the best. Stop allowing him to control so much of your mind, body, and spirit when he does nothing but give you hard d*** and a headache. You are beautiful, intelligent, and have the potential to be great! Instead of focusing all of your energy on whether or not that guy is into you or comparing yourself to the next female, try investing that energy into yourself and you will see so much growth. You have to learn to love yourself before you love a man or you will allow him to decide how much you’re worth. Self worth was something I struggled with for a long time. But prayer and developing a relationship with God is helping me to realize that I am worth more and I deserve better. Ladies, I hear so many times that “chivalry is dead… males don’t know how to treat females now a days. blah, blah, blah” But that is not true! Like I said earlier you hold the power! Speak up and let him know if your are not comfortable with something and don’t be afraid to be yourself. If that man just wants to “chill” tell him “you are not a refrigerator, and you don’t know what that means”. We have to teach men how to court. A lot of males in our generation grew up in single parent households raised by their mothers and have never seen or don’t know what it means to take a lady out to eat, to the show, the park and just genuinely spend time with her and get to know her. Stop giving that man your million dollar p**** for Netflix and a blunt! Make him get to know you. Half the time we make it so easy for them and wonder why the relationship never goes anywhere. That’s because it wasn’t a relationship to begin with, just a relation. Men like challenges.

Another thing I really dislike is how these men are really playin mind games with females. They have us comparing ourselves to one another causing us to hate one another rather than uplift and love one another. Ladies, don’t get mad at her because she’s talking/ dating your “man” too because nine times out of ten, he had her thinking he was her “man” as well. We need to unite and stop allowing them to play us like a game of 2K. Don’t get mad at her, that’s your sister. Instead move on! He didn’t deserve you anyways. Clearly you weren’t all he needed if he was messing with you and the other girl. His loss, not yours. But you’re too blind to see that because “you’re so in love with him” ( and he told you that you had the best p****) Girl if you don’t remove your feelings and keep it pushing, you are the prize, not him! Don’t be mad, take it as a lesson learned. Stop trying to force relationships and stop searching for a man. Focus on you and the right man will come at the right time. I know it’s somebody out there reading this thinking ” but I hate being lonely”. But I was like that at first too, and now I love being by myself so much! You learn so much about yourself and you are so busy focusing on you, developing what you like and don’t like that when the right man comes around you guys can build together rather than take from one another. I promise if you love yourself and put yourself first it’ll be the best feeling in the world. People will become more attracted to you because you are so in love and attracted to yourself and nothing is more sexier than somebody who is into themselves and knows what they bring to the table.

Ultimately, I just want to use this blog to help empower, uplift, and encourage females. My hope is to bring love back to our communities. I want ladies to realize their worth and to do something bigger than themselves. I will be covering a variety of topics and I want to read your feedback as well ( I’m learning too! lol) Also, drop topics you would like me to discuss. I hope this message helped someone. And remember you are beautiful and God loves you!

Sincerely,

Tierra Navia 💕